Dear Satan,
I wrote a letter to God yesterday. I thought I better write one to you so you won't complain about being treated unfairly.
Hell must be a popular place. People are always telling me to go there. But I never believed in Hell until I got married. My wife was religious, and she showed me that Hell exists.
I often wonder whether my marriage was made in the place you rule. Do you know anything about that?
Wherever my marriage was made, it did not last. Was this the result of cheap, unskilled foreign labor? It doesn't matter. It's a blessing my marriage did not last because my poor wife did not deserve me: she was perfect and I wasn't.
I'm sorry to go on about my marriage, but I can't help thinking about it when I think of Hell.
Have you ever been commended for your charisma? There's God, The Almighty, The Creator, The Ruler of the Universe, and hardly anyone listens to him. But there you are not as powerful as God, and almost everyone listens to you. What's your secret? A better understanding of human nature than God's?
I'm going to stop now. All this letter-writing is tiresome. I'm telling you this to give you a heads up. My hands will be idle. Got any ideas?
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