Avoid violent people especially people who are violent.
Never make soup with gasoline or any other flammable liquid. (How come flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?)
Keep away from war zones.
Never jump off a cliff unless it is 2 feet (61 cm) high or less.
Don't breathe underwater near a nuclear power plant.
When eating, always eat the food and not the spoons, forks, knives and dishes.
Never make friends with a suicide bomber.
Never invite lions and tigers and bears to parties.
Don't lift anything that weighs more than 2 tons.
Never sleep on the road.
Never eat more than one dictionary per meal.
Beware of sudden endings.
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