Why did St. Patrick chase the snakes out of Ireland? They were about to expose him as a snake molester. Several snakes have come forward claiming that St. Patrick sexually assaulted them. He forced them to leave Ireland when they threatened to report what he had done.
Harry Barry O'Halloran, St. Patrick's lawyer, said that the allegations were "one hundred percent absolutely entirely completely no-doubt-about-it false." Police are investigating and no charges have been laid. O'Halloran said that these allegations should not stop people from celebrating and enjoying St. Patrick's Day.
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