"You made Gaylord the subject of a blog. I want to be the subject of one, too."
Are you going to tell me that Dracula isn't your real name?
"No, Dracula is my name."
Well? Why do you want to be the subject of a blog?
"To help me launch my stand-up comedy career. I want to do stand-up comedy. I can be funny at times. Would you like to hear a routine?"
I thought you would never ask.
"Being dead is not fun at times. Spending my days in my coffin is okay -- unless I have a cold. Then I spend my time coughing in my coffin. I pretty much have to let the cold run its course. I can't take any garlic for it . . .
You're not laughing."
No I'm not.
"You don't think I'm funny?"
That bit wasn't that funny to me. Someone else may find it gut-splitting.
"Perhaps I should stick to sucking blood instead of trying to kill on stage?"
Wow! You have a fear of failure? Have you ever been afraid to bite someone because you wouldn't suck their blood right?
"No, I'm confident at being a vampire. I have a fear of failing as a comedian."
What does your heart tell you to do?
"My heart tells me to watch out for wooden stakes."
Now that's funny!
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