Wednesday, April 18, 2012

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES

I am afraid to read books on phobias.

I enjoy any book containing words.

I quit smoking.  It was easy.  I had one cigarette when I was twelve years old, and then I quit.  This is the first time I am announcing it.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a person?

I have female intuition.  I used to have male intuition, but got rid of it.  It always said that it was going to call and never did.

One of my goals in life is to be dishwasher safe.

Gary Johnston is in favor of the death penalty as long as no one gets hurt.

Gary Johnston is  waiting for that special person's kiss -- a kiss that will turn him back into a frog.

This post contains letters from the English alphabet.

If I wasn't here, then I'd be somewhere else.

Gary Johnston wishes Gary Johnston the best of luck with his new personality.

Should I get another psychiatrist?  The one I am seeing insists on lying beside me on the couch during our sessions.

Gary Johnston is like a tree.  He is leafing his limited thinking and branching up towards The Light.  He has the confidence to bark at those negative people who try to discourage him.  He is presently battling Dutch Elm Disease.

Gary Johnston admits to being the Chief Executive Hypocrite at Double Standards Incorporated.

Gary Johnston is recovering from being sick in the head.

Out of the blue, came the sky.

Gary Johnston is looking forward to the future when he will be happy living in the present.

Is it true that Pinocchio hated termites?

I can predict the future.  At the end of this sentence, there will be a period.

Is it true that you are reading this?

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