All About Time Machines

"Why did H.G. Wells cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To write on the other side."


"Why did the time machine cross the road?"
"I dunno."
"To give H.G. Wells a story idea."


"How many time machines does it take to change a light bulb."
"How many?"
"One, but it doesn't change the bulb.  The time machine travels into the future until someone else changes the bulb."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Time machine."

"Time machine who?

"Yes."

"I said, 'Time machine who?' "

"And I said, 'Yes.' "

"Why?"

"Because 'Who' is my last name."

"Really?"

"Yes. The Who's were the first family of time machines created by Professor Thomas P. Ticktock."

"Interesting, but too much information for a knock-knock joke."

A time machine walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Mr. Who, how are you?"

"How did you know my last name?" said the time machine.

And the bartender said, "I recognized you from the knock-knock joke.  What will it be?"

"I'll have a clock on the rocks, please."

"I'm sorry," said the bartender, "but we ran out of clocks yesterday."

"No worries," said the time machine, "I'll come back 2 days ago."

And when he finished writing, H.G. Wells crossed back across the road and walked out of this blog.

Head and Plot Lines

SHAKESPEARE ADMITS HE CAN'T SPELL

After the Battle of Dessert, a soldier gives birth to a pudding and struggles to raise it with no help from any spoons.

The night before the day after, a time traveler goes to the day after the night before, and discovers a calendar.

COUPLE CELEBRATES PASTEURIZED HONEYMOON.

To lose weight, a zombie eats only the brains of skinny people who love long sentences because it gives them a sense of living forever and ever and ever.

STUDY PROVES WEARING A BLINDFOLD GIVES NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE

A man falls in love with a bathtub, and gives it a ring, while he struggles with society's views on mixed relationships.

GOD QUITS AS HEAD OF UNIVERSE AND ENDS UP IN A BLOG