"Earth is flat."
"How do you know?"
"Have you ever seen Earth wearing a bra?"
*
Truth is beauty and
Beauty is a horse,
Therefore truth is a horse.
*
Air is made of space and
Space is air,
Therefore we can breath in Space.
*
No matter where we go, we all have to start somewhere, Therefore we all start at the same place: Somewhere.
*
"Clocks that sit on counters are smart."
"How do you know?"
"Haven't you heard of counterclockwise?"
*
"Two plus two equals five."
"How can that be?"
"Four always felt that it was a number five trapped in a number four. Four had a number-change operation and became a number five. 2 + 2 = 5."
*
"Parallel lines meet."
"How?"
"I don't know, but that's my opinion and I'm entitled to my opinion."
*
"THE END is near!"
"Really?"
"Yes. At any second I will stop talking and we won't exist."
"Why do you say that?"
"I am good friends with the funny bone technician who is writing our existence, and he--"
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