AFFIRMATIONS

I am in control of my bladder and bowels.


I can act like an idiot in any situation.


I feel a great sense of happiness, security and well-being while I'm in denial.


I am grateful for all the grapefruit in my life.


I accept, appreciate and love myself while I masturbate.


I am positively negative in a positive way. 


I am a channel for pee-pee and caca.


I am peaceful and calm when unconscious.


I choose money--lots and lots of money. 


All is well. (I just fell in.)


I let go of love and embrace fear.


I am that I am, and that's it.