TERMITE PORN

Humans are not the only ones who enjoy pornography.  Termites love porn, too.

Here are snippets of dialogue from some porn movies for termites: 


"Ooooh!  You have such lovely wood!  You better not give me any splinters."

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"Hey baby!  Wanna suck on a log?"

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"C'mon, baby, we'll have a threesome with you, me and this board."

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"All he gave you were toothpicks?"   

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"Sand it!  Sand it!  Ooooo baby, sand it!  Oh yeah!  Nice and smooth!  Ohh baby!  Sand it!"

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"You coulda picked a piece of wood without any knots in it!"

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"How would you like me to cover you with sawdust, and then lick it off?"

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"Yes, I'd like to buy some aftershave lotion that smells like trees."

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"Hey baby!  Wanna get hot with some wooden matches?"

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"Did you hear about Tina?"

"No, what?"

"She did the whole forest!"

"Wow!  Better stay away from her.  She could have DED."  (Dutch Elm Disease) 

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"Hey, let's spend the night in a lumber yard!"