Humans are not the only ones who enjoy pornography. Termites love porn, too.
Here are snippets of dialogue from some porn movies for termites:
"Ooooh! You have such lovely wood! You better not give me any splinters."
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"Hey baby! Wanna suck on a log?"
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"C'mon, baby, we'll have a threesome with you, me and this board."
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"All he gave you were toothpicks?"
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"Sand it! Sand it! Ooooo baby, sand it! Oh yeah! Nice and smooth! Ohh baby! Sand it!"
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"You coulda picked a piece of wood without any knots in it!"
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"How would you like me to cover you with sawdust, and then lick it off?"
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"Yes, I'd like to buy some aftershave lotion that smells like trees."
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"Hey baby! Wanna get hot with some wooden matches?"
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"Did you hear about Tina?"
"No, what?"
"She did the whole forest!"
"Wow! Better stay away from her. She could have DED." (Dutch Elm Disease)
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"Hey, let's spend the night in a lumber yard!"
