A SHORT STORY

Once upon a time there was a woman named Agnes.  No one would go out with Agnes because she was so ugly.

(How ugly was she?

 She was so ugly that the moon ran away when she howled at it.)

Poor Agnes wanted to go out on dates and eventually get married.  But no one wanted anything to do with her.  As a last resort, Agnes made a deal with the devil.  She agreed to give Satan her soul if he would make her beautiful.

"No problem," said Satan.  "When you wake up tomorrow you will be beautiful.  Everyone will want to be with you."

Agnes was so excited she found it hard to fall asleep.  "Wow," she thought, "I'm going to be beautiful!"

The next day Agnes got up early and looked in the mirror.  She looked the same!  Nothing had changed.  She immediately summoned Satan.

"I trusted you!" she said.  "You promised to make me beautiful and I still look the same."

"That's true," said Satan.  "I did not change your appearance, but check your bank account."

Agnes checked her bank account.  It contained over 3 billion dollars!  Within a short time Agnes was going out on many, many dates.  She ended up marrying her bank manager.  They lived abundantly ever after.

THE AND 

(Pun intended)