Improve your computer skills . . . Get a brain transplant making sure the brain comes from a geek.
Improve your memory . . . Start hanging out with elephants. Studies prove that people who hang out with elephants never forget.
Improve your writing . . . Plagiarize.
Improve your self-confidence . . . Carry a big stick.
Improve your health . . . Stay away from doctors.
Improve the opinion others have of your abilities . . . Lie.
But wait . . . There's more! (But not today. Perhaps another time.)
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