"Would the accused please rise?" said the court clerk.
Gary Johnston stands in the prisoner docket.
The clerk continues, "You, Gary Johnston, on or about the 28th day of February, in the year 2015, did unlawfully write a blog that was not funny contrary to The Funny Bone Blog Act, Section 7, subsection 3. How do you plead, guilty, or not guilty?"
"Guilty with an explanation," said Gary Johnston.
"What are the facts?" said the judge to the prosecutor.
"Your Honor," said the prosecutor, "Gary Johnston calls himself a funny bone technician and has a blog with that title.
"On February 28, 2015, Gary Johnston wrote a blog about some silly court scene. The blog was not funny. No one laughed while reading it. The blog police, while on patrol, happened to see Gary Johnston's blog. They arrested him for contravening The Funny Bone Blog Act.
"These are the facts in this case, Your Honor."
"Are these facts substantially correct, Mr. Johnston?" asked the judge?
"Yes, Your Honor," replied Gary Johnston.
"Then I accept your guilty plea," said the judge. "You said you have an explanation?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Go ahead."
"Well, Your Honor, I thought my blog was funny. It made me laugh -- not out loud, but I chuckled and smiled a bit. I had no idea that it was not funny. I was surprised when the police arrested me."
"Is that it?" asked the judge.
"Yes, Your Honor," replied Gary Johnston.
"Before I pass sentence," said the judge, "what exactly is a funny bone technician?"
"Well, Your Honor," said Gary Johnston, "it's my term for what I do. I do not like the world's terms such as comic writer or comedian; so I gave myself the term funny bone technician. I like to define myself with my terms rather than the world's terms."
"I see," said the judge. And then he looked at the prosecutor and said, "Any record?"
"No, Your Honor," said the prosecutor, "this appears to be the first time Gary Johnston has been convicted of not being funny."
"Since you have no previous record," said the judge, "I will not impose a fine or jail time. You will not be so lucky if I ever see you in my court again. You are free to go."
"Thank you, Your Honor," said Gary Johnston. "Thank you."
Gary Johnston stands in the prisoner docket.
The clerk continues, "You, Gary Johnston, on or about the 28th day of February, in the year 2015, did unlawfully write a blog that was not funny contrary to The Funny Bone Blog Act, Section 7, subsection 3. How do you plead, guilty, or not guilty?"
"Guilty with an explanation," said Gary Johnston.
"What are the facts?" said the judge to the prosecutor.
"Your Honor," said the prosecutor, "Gary Johnston calls himself a funny bone technician and has a blog with that title.
"On February 28, 2015, Gary Johnston wrote a blog about some silly court scene. The blog was not funny. No one laughed while reading it. The blog police, while on patrol, happened to see Gary Johnston's blog. They arrested him for contravening The Funny Bone Blog Act.
"These are the facts in this case, Your Honor."
"Are these facts substantially correct, Mr. Johnston?" asked the judge?
"Yes, Your Honor," replied Gary Johnston.
"Then I accept your guilty plea," said the judge. "You said you have an explanation?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Go ahead."
"Well, Your Honor, I thought my blog was funny. It made me laugh -- not out loud, but I chuckled and smiled a bit. I had no idea that it was not funny. I was surprised when the police arrested me."
"Is that it?" asked the judge.
"Yes, Your Honor," replied Gary Johnston.
"Before I pass sentence," said the judge, "what exactly is a funny bone technician?"
"Well, Your Honor," said Gary Johnston, "it's my term for what I do. I do not like the world's terms such as comic writer or comedian; so I gave myself the term funny bone technician. I like to define myself with my terms rather than the world's terms."
"I see," said the judge. And then he looked at the prosecutor and said, "Any record?"
"No, Your Honor," said the prosecutor, "this appears to be the first time Gary Johnston has been convicted of not being funny."
"Since you have no previous record," said the judge, "I will not impose a fine or jail time. You will not be so lucky if I ever see you in my court again. You are free to go."
"Thank you, Your Honor," said Gary Johnston. "Thank you."
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