IF WHAT THEY SAY IN ADS WERE TRUE

If what they say in ads were true, then there are all kinds of people and businesses out there whose only goal is to save me money.  They are not interested in making money for themselves.  They are only interested in saving ME money.  Of course, I may have to give them some of my money in order for them to save it for me.  That's a minor detail.

If what they say in ads were true, then the car I drive, the soap I use, the deodorant I use, the toothpaste and mouthwash I use -- even the gum I chew will get me sex.   Wow, it's that simple!  No more lonely nights!

If what they say in ads were true, then using a certain laundry soap will keep me happy all the time because my clothes are clean and  smell clean. And using certain household cleaners will also make me happy because with little or no effort, they keep my house clean and smelling clean.

If what they say in ads were true, then the food I eat will keep me happy and healthy and stop me from gaining weight. 

If what they say in ads were true  . . .  It's a wonderful world!