The body of a man was found in his home in downtown Toronto. The man's body had multiple gunshot and stab wounds, and the man's hands were tied behind his back. Police said that they suspect foul play.
There were only minor injuries and no deaths in a fifty-car pileup on Highway 400. No charges have been laid, but police are still investigating. Police said that speed and the laws of physics were factors in the accident.
After months of an intensive undercover investigation, police seized ten tons of bullshit from the Canadian government buildings. A number of politicians -- too many to mention -- have been charged with possession of bullshit for the purpose of trafficking. Police called the investigation "Operation Crap Talk." Police said that this was the biggest bust of bullshit in the history of law enforcement.
An armoured truck lost its load scattering millions of bills, various denominations, all over the street. Apparently the back door of the truck was not properly secured. A spokesperson for the armoured-truck company would not say how much money was lost, but an unnamed source said that the amount was over a million dollars. Police said that anyone finding money should call police and turn it in.
Police said, "We arrived on the scene of this blog at 16:36 hours, or 4:36 pm, on Sunday March 23, 2014. We observed many letters forming words which subsequently formed sentences. We also observed spaces between the words and sentences. No charges have been laid at this time, but we are still investigating. We will release further information when it comes available. Thank you."
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