My work and watching television are more important than spending time with family and friends. Spending less time with them will allow me to get more work done. Watching more television will move me closer to my goal of having that deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.
2 - Start smoking
I have always enjoyed sticking my head over a chimney stack and inhaling smoke. This is often difficult, and shows a lack of self-control. By smoking, I am able to easily get the same effect while practising moderation.
3 - Start drinking
I am tired of taking responsibility for my actions. If I drink, then I can blame my actions on the alcohol.
4 - Gain weight
My clothes have fit me far too long. It's time for a new wardrobe. By gaining weight I can justify buying new clothes.
5 - Enjoy life less
Look at all the suffering going on in the world. Why should I enjoy my life when others are unable to? I will strive to be more miserable to be in harmony with the rest of the world.
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