THE UNIVERSAL SHOULD MANUAL

The Universal Should Manual sets out what you should do to have a normal life.  Author Rupert T. Hormone is an authority on everything --  including how to be an authority on everything.  He saw how people worried over what is normal, and what they should do to be normal.  He wrote The Universal Should Manual to relieve this concern.  Here are some excerpts:

On How To Keep Socks:
"You should always file your socks in alphabetical order.  Keeping socks any other way is not normal."

On Chewing Food:
"You should always chew your food seventy-three times before swallowing.  This seventy-three times applies to everyone.  Size, gender and age do matter when it comes to chewing food."

On Feelings:

"Never feel what you are feeling -- unless it is what you should  be feeling.
For example, you should feel happy at Christmas.  If you feel sad, then you should stop feeling sad and feel happy.  Feeling happy at Christmas is normal."

On Love:
‎"Love in a relationship should happen after being together one year, three months, two weeks, five days, eleven hours and forty-seven seconds. If love happens before this time, then things are happening too fast. If love happens after this time, then things are happening too slow."

On When to Act:

"You should always wait until conditions are perfect in your life, and that you know everything there is to know before you do, or commit to anything."


Rupert T. Hormone says that people should read his book by looking at each page, and interpreting and understanding the words line by line.
  
The Universal Should Manual, by Rupert T. Hormone, is available where it should be.