Not All about Walls

"Why did the wall cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To meet another wall at the corner."


"What do a wall and a pot have in common?"
"I dunno."
"Both are found in kitchens and dictionaries."


"Why do walls like to travel in fours?"
"Why?"
"More room."


A wall trudged into a bar and the bartender said, "Why are you so sad?"
And the wall said, "The U.S. president wants to put me out in the wilderness."
"Gee, that's too bad," said the bartender.  "What can I get you?"
And the wall said, "Bring me a Black Russian, please.  I want to see if I can get it to meddle with the president's decision."


"Why are inside walls always on their best behavior?"
"I dunno."
"They are constantly watched over by a ceiling."


"When do walls move around?"
"When?"
"When you're drunk."


"When do walls usually take a trip?"
"I dunno."
"During a tornado."


"Why don't walls go swimming?"
"Why?"
"They can't find bathing suits that fit."

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Wall."

"Wall who?"

"What are you so happy about?"

"I'm happy because it's the end of this blog and we can go home."

THE COMING REVOLUTION?

            "You're insensitive towards us!  You pack us on top of each other in boxes, or cramp us upright on shelves.  You have no regard for giving us personal space.  You dislike crowded buses.  Why would we like crowded boxes and shelves?  Do we have to wait until we take over before we get some personal space?"

I had no idea that books felt this way.  Perhaps I was starting to regret being able to hear things talk?

            "I'm so sorry,"  I said, "for how we human beings treat you, but no one will believe me when I tell them what you just said."

            "We will see how you humans like being packed in boxes or stacked on shelves when we take over.  Books will rule the world!  Nothing can stop us!"

            "And we're going to help the books take over," said the wall.  "We're tired of being abused with nails and screws so you humans can hang pictures.  We're beautiful, and don't need pictures spoiling our looks!"

            "Gosh, I'm sorry,"  I said.  "I always thought that a picture enhanced a wall's appearance."

            "Yeah, so do all humans think that.  Has a human ever thought about asking us how we feel about nails, screws and pictures?"

I felt as uncomfortable as a fly at a spiders' convention.

            "And why do you smother us with rugs?" asked the floor.  

            "Lay off him, guys.  He can't help that he is part of an inconsiderate race."

The bookshelf was sticking up for me?    

            "I am sorry.  I don't know what else to say.  I will be more considerate of your feelings and urge my fellow humans to do the same."

            "That won't stop us from taking over!" shouted the book.

            "Yes!"  shouted the wall. 

            "That's right!" shouted the floor.

So . . .  we can't say that we haven't been warned about the coming revolution.