Not All About Intellectual Humor

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Why?"
"It was taking a break from working on its thesis, Eggs and Their Relation to the Unconscious."


"What do you call a brick with a high I.Q.?"
"What?"
"A brick."

"I hate apples!"

                             - Sir Isaac Newton

"Can you explain E=mc², Einstein's Theory of Relativity?"
"E=mc² means that you will use a lot of energy moving twice the speed of light trying to get out of your home after you hear that your relatives are going to visit and make a mass."


"You've heard of Jean Paul Sartre?"
"Yes, he wrote Being and Nothingness."
"Really?  What is it about?"
"Being and Nothingness is about living in outer space."


"Why did Archimedes shout, 'Eureka!  Eureka!' ?"
"Why?"
"He met a friend who never used deodorant."


"Did Werner Heisenberg have trouble making decisions?"
"We are not sure."


"If I could grant you one wish, then what would you wish for?"
"I'd wish I was as important as ratios in Trigonometry."


In the modern version of Sophocles' Oedipus Rex, Oedipus murders his mother and marries his father.


"Was there a real Joseph Campbell, or is he just a myth?"
"Yes, he existed.  He was a mister and not a myth."


"What do you get when you cross a bookworm with a rocket scientist?"
"What?"
"Something an early bird won't eat."


"Which came first, the chicken or the coward?"
"I dunno."
"The chicken came first.  The coward was afraid to cross the road."
"How can you include this joke in a blog not about intellectual humor?"
"Because it is not all about intellectual humor."

INTELLECTUAL HUMOR

"Should I sell my collection of boulders?" asked Sisyphus.  "Will they amount to more than a hill of beans?"


"Why did Albert Einstein cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"To visit a Relative."


How I Got From Bored To Bard 
 by William Shakespeare.


"Why did Socrates cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"He was on a special mission from the CIA, and that's all you need to know."


Is it true that Thomas Edison wore diapers, and light bulbs used to change him? 


After he died, Friedrich Nietzsche retracted his statement, "God is dead."


My bank account was the inspiration for Jean Paul Sartre's book,  Being and Nothingness.


"Why did Pythagoras cross the road?"
"Another mission by the CIA?"
"No.  Pythagoras crossed the road to see his pet hypotenuse which he kept in a square on the other two sides."


"Okay, that's enough!  My brain hurts."