All About Eclipses

Moon: "I came.  I saw.  I covered."
Sun:  "Thanks Moon.  I always wanted to be black."


"Why did the eclipse cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To make it dark on the other side."


"What does an eclipse use when it rains?"
"What?"
"An umbra."


An eclipse walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Please leave.  You're making it dark in here."
And the eclipse said, "You're just picking on me 'cause I'm black."
(Note:  The eclipse successfully sued the bartender and was awarded 49 cents plus court costs.)

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Eclipse."

"Eclipse who?"

"Eclipse are better than clothespins when hanging emails."

In the Great Gun Battle of August 21, 2017, Sun said to Moon: "Cover me."

Eclipse Books:

Suneo & Mooniet  by William Spacespeare

A Tale of Two Eclipses  by Charles Sunkens

The Invisible Dark  by H. G. Moons

The Shadow in the Rye  by J. D. Suninger

Famous Wise Words of an Eclipse:

"Don't look at me.  You will damage my eyes."

It's All About 2017

2017 walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Get out!  You're too early.  Come back at midnight."



"Why did 2017 cross the road?"
"Why?"
"To meet January First for a date."



"How many 2017s does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"One.  There is only one 2017, but it does not change light bulbs.  2017 will change you.  By the time 2017 is done, you will be older and wiser -- well perhaps just older."



2017 is on the couch in a psychiatrist's office.  It says to the psychiatrist, "Doc, I want to write my memoirs but I have no memories."
And the psychiatrist says, "Give it time."



Poor Eternity!  It's impossible for it to celebrate New Years.



2016 says to 2017, "Good Luck!  I hope you do better than I did."

"Knock.  Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Happy."

"Happy who?"

"Happy 2017!"