ON EXCUSES

"Where's your dog?"
A homework monster ate it."



"Sorry, but I can't have you over for dinner.  I'm using my knives for something else, and can't prepare food properly," said Jack The Ripper.



"Sorry I can't come to your picnic.  During the day is not a good time for me," said Dracula. 



"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do" really means,
"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I will do. You're not rich and powerful and cannot affect my career."



"I can't write today.  My pen is in the drawer, and the paper is way over there on the shelf."



"Hi boss?  It's me.  I can't come to work today.  I have Alzheimer's disease.  And I'll have 4 Cokes as well.  How long before the pizza arrives?"



"I would love to be your leader, but I didn't get enough votes,"  said Hillary.



"I want to be honest, but I don't want to ruin it for my coworkers," said the politician.



"I would love to come up with more excuses, but I have to deliver some cokes and a pizza."