MISSION TO MARS

If I was chosen to go on a solo mission to Mars, here is what I would bring:

- My watchdog even though I don't know whether it is a Tissot or a Timex.

- A sexually transmitted disease in case I get lonely.

-  A loud noise in case I have nothing to complain about.

- A calendar from 1892 to confuse me for fun.

- A freeunuck.  (I have no idea what a freeunuck is, but I could pass the time trying to guess.)

- Some dust and bad smells in case I get homesick.

- Some wrinkles for my clothing.

And finally I would bring two tin cans with a long, long, long string so I could talk to my friends on Earth.