SOME THOUGHTS ON PROFANITY

WARNING:  The following blog contains fucking words that some may find offensive.  Reader discretion is advised.  (Whatever that means.)


"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Whenever someone tells me to shut the fuck up, I can never find the fuck because I don't know what the fuck looks like.  Suppose I knew what the fuck looks like and found it, are there instructions on how to shut the fuck up?


"WHAT THE FUCK?"

A lot of people say this because they, too, don't know what the fuck looks like.


"SUCK MY DICK!"

I heard a guy say this to his girlfriend.  They were having a volcanic argument.  I thought, "Hey fella, she is furious with you.  Do you really want her to do that since her mouth has teeth?"


"THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT!"

What does the speaker's diet consist of that he or she knows something tastes like shit?


"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

Why would anyone announce that he or she is constipated?


"KISS MY ASS!"

Is the speaker really going to bare his or her ass so this can be done?


"FUCK OFF!"

There's that F-word again.  Does fuck off mean that the speaker is cancelling an appointment for sex? 


"EAT SHIT!"

 I have been told to eat shit.  "Why would I do that when there is plenty of food available?" I ask.  Then whoever told me to eat shit tells me to "Fuck off!"  How confusing!  I never knew the fuck was ever on.


"BULLSHIT!"

 I hope bulls never charge for the use of their caca.  I and many people would always be in debt.