STEPHEN WHO?

On the day after the Canadian election, a psychiatrist said, "And what makes you think that you're living a nightmare, Mr. Harper?"

***

Stephen Harper walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"

Stephen Harper says, "I'll have a time machine and a person who can fix elections, please."

"I'm sorry," says the bartender, "I have a time machine, but the person who fixes elections is still in Florida living in a luxurious home built by George W. Bush."

***

Q:  How many Stephen Harpers does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Two.  One to change the light bulb, and the other to deny that he had anything to do with it.

***

STEPHEN HARPER WANTS RCMP TO CHARGE CANADIANS WITH ASSAULT

FOR GIVING HIM A SPANKING  

***

Q:  What's the difference between Stephen Harper and toast?

A:  Nothing.

***

Q:  Why did Stephen Harper cross the road?

A:  We don't know, and neither does he.

***

"I don't understand, doctor," said Stephen Harper to his psychiatrist on the day after the election.  "As prime minister I was cold, malicious, and vengeful.  Where did I go wrong?"