On the day after the Canadian election, a psychiatrist said, "And what makes you think that you're living a nightmare, Mr. Harper?"
***
Stephen Harper walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"
Stephen Harper says, "I'll have a time machine and a person who can fix elections, please."
"I'm sorry," says the bartender, "I have a time machine, but the person who fixes elections is still in Florida living in a luxurious home built by George W. Bush."
***
Q: How many Stephen Harpers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the light bulb, and the other to deny that he had anything to do with it.
***
STEPHEN HARPER WANTS RCMP TO CHARGE CANADIANS WITH ASSAULT
FOR GIVING HIM A SPANKING
***
Q: What's the difference between Stephen Harper and toast?
A: Nothing.
***
Q: Why did Stephen Harper cross the road?
A: We don't know, and neither does he.
***
"I don't understand, doctor," said Stephen Harper to his psychiatrist on the day after the election. "As prime minister I was cold, malicious, and vengeful. Where did I go wrong?"
