In an alternate universe, did a soothsayer approach the Ides of March and say, "Beware of Julius Caesar, for he will make a bloody mess."
***
Brutus walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What will it be?"
Brutus says, "I'll have a Bloody Caesar, please."
"I should have known," said the bartender.
***
Cassius: He's back!
Brutus: Who's back?
Cassius: Caesar, Julius Caesar. He's back.
Brutus: He is?
Cassius: Yes, but only as a salad. He'll leaf us alone if we leaf him alone.
***
"How are you getting along these days, Julius?" asks a reporter.
"Great!" says Caesar. "My friends always have my back."
***
"Hello. Is this the Praetorian Insurance Company? It is? Good. I'm a beneficiary on Julius Caesar's life insurance policy. It's been 2,059 years since he died, and I have yet to receive any money . . . "
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