BOOKS YOU MAY NEVER READ . . .

The Sound And The Fury - The story of a man who is angry over his bad case of flatulence.

Tender Is The Night - A mad scientist terrorizes the world by pounding the darkness with a metal meat tenderizer.

Seven women's stories are told during their menstrual cycle in Les Misérables.

After catching 21 fish, a fisherman catches a magic lamp in Catch 22.

Oliver Twist - An orphaned piece of licorice struggles to survive. 

A family's fortune mysteriously disappears after the spring breaks on their favorite wind-up toy in Gone With The Wind. 

A mousetrap maker gets stuck in a loaf of bread in Catcher In The Rye.

Protagonist Theodore Thanatos explores the world of necrophilia in The Naked And The Dead.

A watchmaker successfully makes watches from citrus fruits in A Clockwork Orange. 

Of Human Bondage - A story about income and other taxes.