HOW I MET ELBOWEATER ON HALLOWEEN

Never mind what you've heard about Halloween beginning as the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain.    Halloween was started by a bunch of out-of-work dentists.

I made the mistake of trick-or-treating at a cannibal's house.  He said his name was Elboweater.  He offered me some Ladyfingers and invited me in.  Elboweater's guests had just finished playing  Pin The Kale On The Honkey.   Elboweater's wife, Deltoidsucker, offered me a Toasted Danish, French Fries, and some Chinese food.  The Chinese food looked the same, but the Toasted Danish and French Fries looked like -- well  -- uh --    Let's just say I lost my appetite. 

I did not like the way Elboweater, Deltoidsucker and their guests were looking at me.   I felt like a piece of candy in the middle of a table surrounded by children.  I overheard some of the guests talking about getting  me to go into the hot tub alone.   I decided to leave just as they were about to play  Bobbing for A Paul.

I threw the Ladyfingers and my other treats away.   I won't need to see a dentist for a while.