HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT

Cut off your toes.
Cut off your feet.
Cut off your nose.
Stop eating meat.

Cut off your legs.
Cut off your butt.
Stop eating eggs.
What's left to cut?

Cut off your hands.
Cut off your arms.
Don't eat pecans.
Carry no charms.

Still not too thin
After these cuts?
Remove your skin.
Throw out your guts.

What's left of you
Won't gain weight back.
Clothing that's new
Will be a sack.

No arms. No nose.
No legs. No guts.
Don't decompose,
And don't go nuts.