1 - Keep away from cannibals.
2 - Don't drink hydrochloric acid.
3 - Get lots of yercise. (Yercise is like exercise, but no one knows Y.)
4 - Never bring an electric heating pad into the bathtub.
5 - Picnics on parkways are a no-no.
6 - Eat occasionally.
7 - Take amateur as well as pro biotics.
8 - Don't fight in any wars.
9 - Add 10 years to your age every birthday.
10 - Disguise yourself so Death will not recognize you.
