ON FALL

Fall fell into a bar and the bartender said, "Look at this mess!  Look at all the leaves! Why couldn't you simply walk into my bar? There's no point in going on with this joke until we have cleaned up this mess."


The four seasons sat around, but only three of them were talking.  Fall sat silently.  
"Some call me morbid," said Winter, "but I love death."
"The way you love death is the way I love life," said Spring.
"I enjoy life and death," said Summer, "but sometimes my humidity bothers me."
Fall said nothing.
"Fall, what about you?" asked Winter.  "Don't you have anything to say?"
And Fall said, "Please leaf me alone."
"What's with Fall?" Winter asked Spring and Summer.
Summer said, "Fall is upset after being yelled at by a bartender for being itself."


Fall has a split personality.  Sometimes it is Fall, and sometimes it is Autumn.


"How many Falls does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I don't know.  How many?"
"None.  Once Falls falls, it does not get up. The burnt-out light bulb has to wait until it is changed by a barking bumble bee."
"A barking bumble bee changing burnt-out light bulb?"
"Yes.  Sorry if my sense of surrealism surprises you."
"You're welcome."


After the bartender had raked up the leaves in his bar he said,"Okay Fall, let's get on with this joke. What will it be?"
And Fall said, "I'll have a glass of water, please."
"Water?  Is that all?"
"Yes," said Fall.  "I don't like drinking booze because it makes me fall."
"Wait a minute," said the bartender.  "Not drinking booze because it makes you fall is the punchline?"
"Yes," said Fall.
"Damn!" said the bartender.  "It wasn't worth cleaning up the bar for this joke."