A SNAKE GOES TO THE DOCTOR . . .

A snake goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm having problems with my hand-to-eye coordination."
The doctor stands and then walks out the door saying, "I'm leaving this joke.  I hate talking snakes!"

*

The Universe walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"

The Universe says, "I'll have a diet beer, please."

"A what?" asks the bartender.  "A diet beer?"

"Yes," says the Universe. "I'm trying to lose weight.  I've been expanding ever since the Big Bang and now my dimensions don't fit."

*

A gold prospector goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I have a sore back."

The doctor says, "I can fix that."

The doctor gives the gold prospector a needle full of poison which kills the prospector and cures his sore back.  The doctor steals the prospector's gold and disposes of his body.  Having all that gold allowed the doctor to quick doctoring and live happily ever after.  

Some jokes are like life: unfair.

*

Q:  How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  We don't know.  They have to have a Task Force study the problem and make recommendations.

*

A forest fire walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What will it be?"

The forest fire says,"Water please.  I'm scorched."

*

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"The"

"The who?"

"The End."

"Wait a minute!" shouts the doctor from the snake joke.  "You can't end this blog leaving me in limbo."

But you walked out of the joke.

"I know.  I hate talking snakes.  Please don't leave me without a joke.  Please!"

Okay.

The End goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, no matter what I do I'm always behind."

"Thanks!" says the doctor.

"Thanks?" says The End.  "How does thanks help me?"

And the doctor says, "I wasn't talking to you."