I promised my wife that I would love her until the end of time. After that, I planned to find someone else. I did not keep my promise, and left the marriage before the end of time. Here are the reasons I left:
- I experienced post-traumatic stress disorder every time we had sex.
- I kept failing at following orders.
- The United Nations was going to start charging us for the peacekeepers deployed in our home.
- I felt that I was in a handbasket going somewhere, but did not know where.
- I was tired of doing mood-disorder research.
- Our marriage interfered with the neighborhood's happiness.
- I could not get used to staying in the doghouse during the winter.
