Cures

Headache - Cut your head off.  You'll never get a headache again.


Motion Sickness - To prevent motion sickness, don't move. 


Hangover - To cure a hangover, cut the noose.


Claustrophobia - Keep your eyes closed long enough, and you will forget that you are in a confined space.


Anorexia - Stop not eating.


Love - To cure love, get married.


Cold - To cure a cold, find a hot.  The cold will leave.


Influenza - To cure the flu, fly.  You cannot flu when you are flying.


Schizophrenia - If you're schizophrenic, then ask the voices in your head for a cure.  They know best.


Dutch Elm Disease (DED) - To cure DED, uproot, branch out, and stop acting like a tree.


Runny Nose - To cure a runny nose, catch it and tie it up until it agrees to stop running.


For cancer, and other serious diseases, death always works. But the best way to cure diseases is not to get them in the first place.  Stay healthy by keeping away from doctors.