"Why did the marriage cross the road?"
"Why?"
"It wanted to see whether it would be happier on the other side."
A marriage walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You're the reason my business does well."
"How many marriages does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I dunno."
"One, but only after many months of counseling."
"Knock. Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Happily."
"Happily who?"
"Happily Married."
"Really? I never knew that you existed."
At what point during the marriage does the woman get promoted to five-star general, while the man remains a private?
Marriage is guaranteed to take away your fear of death.
"Whoa! You're saying negative things about marriage. Haven't you got anything positive to say?"
"Something positive about marriage?"
"Yes."
"Yes, I do have something positive to say about marriage."
"What?"
"Divorce."
