Somewhere In The Universe . . .

Professor Kenneth T. Kissmytesttube, who has a Ph.D in Ph.D's, postulates that . . . 

Somewhere in the Universe, there is a store whose products are of such bad quality that there are signs on the shelves stating, 

SORRY

THIS ITEM IS IN STOCK

Somewhere in the Universe, police give speeding tickets to radar.

Somewhere in the Universe, couches listen to psychiatrists.

Somewhere in the Universe, crossword puzzles solve people.

Somewhere in the Universe, bananas use overripe people to make bread.

Somewhere in the Universe, white power has something to do with snow and electricity.

Somewhere in the Universe, Canada is a major world power.

Somewhere in the Universe, books publish writers.

Somewhere in the Universe, it rains umbrellas.

Somewhere in the Universe, tulips wear lipstick.

Somewhere in the Universe, neighbors do not live in neighborhoods.

Somewhere in the Universe, there are Second Aid boxes.

And finally, Professor Kissmytesttube thinks that . . . 

Somewhere in the Universe, funny bone technicians make millions of dollars from their blogs.