Advice From A . . .

"Always wash your hands."

                              - A Doorknob

"Use deodorant."

                  - A Crutch

"Don't stare at me."

                         - A Ceiling

"Always leave your food out. Never put it away."

                                                 - A Mouse.

"Play with me."

                  - A Toy

"Think of the homeless elf."

                             - A Mushroom in a kitchen pot

"It's bad luck to open me when it rains."

                           - An Umbrella and member of DUA (The Dry Umbrella Association)

"Go out of me!  Go out of me!"

                                                     - A Mind

"Stop thinking about me and do something."

                                                 - Hope

"Spend your time wisely."

                                               - A Cell Phone

"Please do not fart."

                                              - A Bicycle Seat

"Happiness is surrounding yourself with water."

                                                     - An Island

"Wrong, Island. Happiness is surrounding yourself with space."

                                                        - A Star

"You're both wrong.  Happiness is a hot crotch."

                                                 - Underwear

"All three of you are right.  I am many things to many things and people.  Right now, I am an ending to this blog.  This should make many things and people happy."

                                                                       - Happiness