Monday, March 19, 2018

Pretend It's Still March 17




"How does Dracula celebrate St. Patrick's Night?"
"St. Patrick's Night?  Shouldn't it be St. Patrick's Day?"
"Dracula and daylight don't get along."
"Okay.  So, how does Dracula celebrate St. Patrick's Night?"
"By drinking green blood."
"And where does Dracula get green blood?"
"At the Green Blood Store."



"Knock.  Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Saint."
"Saint who?"
"Saint Patrick."
"Sorry, our snakes left and got elected to office."


"Why did St. Patrick cross the road?"
"Why?"
"Because he loved to jaywalk."


"How many St. Patricks does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"None.  Light bulbs did not exist way back then."


"Wait a minute.  Why are you posting a blog about St. Patrick's Day two days after St. Patrick's Day?"
"I tried to do it on March 17, but I was abducted by members of SASP."
"SASP?"
"Snakes Against St. Patrick.  They go around trying to ruin people's St. Patrick's Day.  The snakes held me hostage and told me to eat an apple.  They said that the apple came from the Tree of Knowledge and that it would make me knowledgeable.  So I ate it and waited.  When the snakes saw that I wasn't getting any smarter, they let me go."
"Have you got any more attempts at jokes about St. Patrick's Day?"
"No."
"Good!"

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