Not All About The Oscars

"Why did the Oscar cross the road?"
"Why?"
"Because it was on the back of the Best Chicken in The Vegetarian Movie."



"How many Oscars does it take to change a light bulb?"
"I dunno."
"None.  Their hands are glued to the sword."

(Go ahead and google "Cedric Gibbons."  This blog isn't going anywhere.)

"What do you call an Oscar that falls off the shelf?"

"What?"

"Broken."

"Why didn't the Oscar walk into a bar?"

"Why?"

"Because it couldn't figure out how to sit down with the sword stuck between its legs."

"What did one Oscar say to another?"

"I dunno."

"Nothing.  Oscars can't talk."

How could a movie called The Best Movie not win an Oscar?

"Knock.  Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Oscar."

"Wow!  I never thought I would win . . .   I want to thank my agent for believing in me.  I want to thank the crew.  It's the best film crew ever!  And I want to thank the best director ever.  And I want to thank my partner.  And I want to thank the floor for all its support.  And I want to thank Gary Johnston for putting me in this blog.  And I want to thank--(music)