Friday, August 19, 2016

MY NOT-SO NORMAL EXPERIENCES



I have heard that a mirror is a gateway to magic, the supernatural, and the mysteries of the Universe.  I look in the mirror for magic, the supernatural and the mysteries of the Universe, but all I see are unlovely looks.


My toilet is possessed.  It's been chanting crap, and occasionally vomiting greenish-brown stuff.


I experienced kundalini the other day, but I prefer linguine--especially with tomato sauce.


Often I go into a trance and channel Kookoo, the spirit of a cockroach who lived on Earth 50 thousand years ago.  A lot of what KooKoo says is garbage.


Sometimes when I go into a church I bleed from my palms.  I suspect it has something to do with splinters from the pews.


In a past life I was a blog--or was it a bog?  The only thing I remember was not smelling nice.


I had an out-of-body experience.  Like parking a car in a large parking lot, I cannot remember where I left my body.  
My body is brown, bald and has closed eyes.
If you see my body, then please contact Omar at Astral Travel Agency.  He knows how to get hold of me.  Thank you.

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